Find your passion. Three words that somehow evoke fear, panic, doubt, even denial. The passions have always been there in my head. Everything I've wanted to do, every little thing I've wanted to achieve. But the programs of your hardwiring in your brain can kick in pretty fast "Can't make any money at that?" "What will people think of that?" "What if it fails right away?" or worse "WHAT IF IT SUCCEEDS RIGHT AWAY?" These are just a few roadblocks running through at any given moment. I'm not looking for just success. I think just about anybody can do that. I am looking for individual success in something I am passionate about, not what you or anyone else is passionate about.
 The old saying goes, find a job you love and you'll never work a day in your life. I've worked a lot of days, then, I think everyone has. There are those and you see them and read about them, that truly have no idea what year it is. They are having so much fun fulfilling their lives in a manner that they have a passion about. Just, think if the whole world was doing something they were truly passionate about. Wouldn't the world be something truly great? I hate to go to far into alternate realities, but how much less hate in the world there would be had Hitler truly pursued a career as an artist and kept working at it? Would there even be an atomic bomb? Could the greatest scientists ever assembled have come up with something far more useful to the benefit of mankind than the ability to dispose of it? The butterfly effect is crazy in that one specific scenario. Now, I'll get back on task.
Pursuit of a passion is a pursuit of happiness. The journey is the goal. Every single one of us goes through it. The hardest part of every journey towards any goal or dream is the people that surround you. Some are good, some are bad. For sure I have rested squarely on the "bad" at more times than not, for some people. More than likely if there was a story about my influence it would be more like the grasshopper than the ant (no literary or cartoon reference left unturned). It's hard to keep everything upbeat and moving forward, it's hard to turn that around. Eventually, you can look around and you have attracted what you are going to attract for like-minded people. Some you keep, and some you don't. When you do turn it around(a little)you find the people that were like you, become fingernails on the chalkboard. Just listening to them agitates you and drives you back to where you don't want to be anymore.
There is a story I have heard on several occasions, it only made true sense to me a few months ago when told from a perspective I was ready to accept. Most people know it as the crab mentality. If there is a single crab in a bucket, it will surely escape. If there are several crabs in the bucket, every time one crab tries to escape the other crabs in the bucket pull it down in the bucket with them. If they are left to their own devices all of the crabs would die(well except maybe the last one)as they prevent each other from achieving a goal in leaving the bucket.
In my head I was always the crab trying to escape and reach the goal. As it turned out, I was the crab trying to make sure no one else was getting ahead, because life in the bucket was supposed to be hard. That's what I had told myself, and that is what everyone had told me. Luckily someone talked me into trying to turn that around. She pulled me out of the bucket with her. I am very thankful for that(love you honey!). Seeing the world with a different perspective is a lot more fun than it used to be.
Yes, the crabs in the bucket are still there and some of them will always be there. I am doing my best to pull them up and out. I'm not perfect. I slip, I question, I peek back in the buckets and see what is going on. I get angry with the crabs in the bucket. I get angry with the crabs outside of the bucket. All of the above. No one said it was going to be easy. It takes leaps of faith in people, to know when they are done with just "making it through the day." I try to help those crabs when I can, in turn I hope it helps me. If none of that makes sense, then just think that nobody likes crabs, of any sort.
 Every day begins with the potential to be as great as the effort I put into it. If I pull a few people up and out with me in that effort, not such a bad thing.

(No crabs were hurt in the writing of this blog. As far as I know they will all be released eventually and free to live out their lives as they deem fit. If you weren't thinking of crustacean crabs while reading this blog please get your heads out of the gutter. I am in no way, shape, or form a licensed therapist or even a reasonable person at most times. Taking any advice from me can be enlightening yet somewhat disturbing to some who viewed me as the guy in the back of the class just trying to make it through.......)